[T]wo basically different notions are confused when people use the concept of the social: the community built of relation and the amassing of human units that have no relation to one another - the palpable manifestation of modern man’s lack of relation. The bright edifice of community, however, for which one can be liberated even from the dungeon of “sociability,” is the work of the same force that is alive in the relation between man and God. But this is not one relation among others; it is the universal relation into which all rivers pour without drying up for that reason. Sea and rivers - who would make bold to separate here and define limits? There is only the one flood from I to You, ever more infinite, the one boundless flood of actual life.
*Martin Buber. I and Thou. Trans. Walter Kaufmann.
And they devoted themselves to... fellowship (koinonia)...
*Acts 2.42, Christian Scriptures
Koinonia-Greek term used in the Christian New Testament meaning "fellowship, partnership, heart-sharing."
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July 2007 -
Written following a sharing time with friends the prior night. At the time, I was a pastor and had moved away from the fundamentalist religion of my upbringing and earlier work in Ministry.
Last evening, I spent some hours with a dear couple and who are dear friends to me. Especially after we sat at table, I began experiencing a deep and joyful, even mystical, fellowship. This happens often to me, when with other persons who are enjoying a deeply authentic and vital relationship with God, free of the strictures of fundamentalist and cultural religion. Who was the I that I speak of experiencing that fellowship, that koinonia last evening? As I reflect, there was no I, there was only Communion.
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What we think can easily block heart-sharing. We get into our heads and forget our hearts, so to speak. We forget ourselves. We no longer express who we indeed are. We may offer to others a caricature of our true selves. Relationships can be conventional, shallow, pretend-shows of something they are not. This elitism can be true of liberals as well as conservatives, though liberals champion inclusivity.
Allegiance to beliefs, such as political, moral, or religious, often becomes the litmus test for whom we will open our hearts to and treat respectfully, of equal worth. With this, some persons we treat as objects rather than as subjects. That was much of my experience before breaking free of the religion of my earlier years.
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One of the religious icons in my room has the image that was on hand fans from my childhood. We had paper fans with a wooden handle to try to keep cool during church services, for we had no air conditioning. We waved these in front of our faces. The icon is of Jesus standing at a door knocking, waiting to be welcomed inside. He will only go in if welcomed in. The image shows there is no handle on the outside.
The image is based on a Christian scripture: Revelation 3.20. I memorized it as a teenager from the King James Version of the Bible, which reads, "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." I like another modern rendition, "Listen! I am standing and knocking at your door. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in and we will eat together" (CEV). To offer hospitality, even to strangers, was considered sacred in Jesus' culture.
The Jesus icon represents the offer of koinonia, heart-sharing, or interior communion. This can happen when we are prepared to open our hearts to enjoy this with others. We cannot but receive it, as whoever was behind the door was invited to receive it.
Likewise, this icon and scripture speak to me of the aspiration to act as an invitational presence. I can knock, but I cannot open another's heart-door. I can only offer the interior presence to others so we can share communion-of-spirits together. Such sharing heightens awareness of our true self, for we are a self-in-communion.
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The meeting around the table can happen anywhere. We can enjoy even a short moment of this koinonia. This brief encounter, maybe with someone we have never met before, is a beautiful sharing. Through spiritual growth, we become increasingly prepared to experience these times of koinonia with others.
Likewise, this fellowship is non-local and non-temporal, for its origin is from outside the limitations of the human realm. We can experience it with others at a distance, as I do with an interfaith online prayer group. We can share this heart-sharing even when not seeing or speaking with others and with spirits who have passed on from the human body.
I do not generally encourage persons to seek connection with others who have moved from the body. But it happens, for spirit is free of the relative dimensions, even as all true koinonia is, even when enjoyed by embodied persons. This means all heart-sharing by embodied selves is of Spirit into form. Koinonia always comes as a gift, a grace given to us.
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What do we do when we want to enjoy this connection but it is not received or, after someone enjoys it with us, pushes it away? As for persons pushing it away, I will now speak.
Many months ago, this pushing it away happened to me - as it did often when in Christian work. It took many months before I could see how deeply hurt I was by this. This acknowledgment was freeing. From the moment it happened, I knew it was not personal; it was not me. I am not how someone responds or not to me. So, I did not identify with it. That helped and continues to. Not personalizing matters is important. All we can do is offer presence: we are presence.
As to the Jesus knocking at the door. I do not see him walking away from the door, if unopened, blaming himself or grumbling to himself about the other not welcoming him. I see him walking away at peace with himself and his life - in the Christian Gospels, we never see him begging or chasing anyone. He simply lived as an invitational presence. Let us grow to the same.
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Wisdom informs us there are persons whom we need not to maintain a close fellowship with. The Christian Scripture poses the question in 2 Corinthians 6.14 (NRSVUE), "[W]hat partnership (koinonia) is there between light and darkness?" We all need to practice inclusivity. Inclusivity, however, does not mean being in close relationship with persons regardless. Wisdom directs us to close relationships with persons aligned with the Light.
Similarly, as we grow spiritually, our capacity for heart-fellowship grows. Yet, the number of people we can enjoy a relationship with at a similar alignment of Grace becomes less.
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2023. Permission is given to use photographs and writings with credit given to the copyright owner.
*Brian's book is An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love. The book is a collection of poems Brian wrote based on wisdom traditions, predominantly Christian, Buddhist, and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
